


if i asked you to name all the things you love, how long would it take for you to name yourself

by Mellybear



Series: Flaming Arrow Fics [4]
Category: Ava's Demon
Genre: Comfort, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Kinda Fluff Kinda Angst, Love, ava is battling depression and odin is trying to help as her roommate/boyfriend, roommate au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-08-10
Packaged: 2018-12-13 20:51:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11768139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mellybear/pseuds/Mellybear
Summary: Ava and Odin are roommates going on for a long time, and as time has wore on both have fallen for the other. Odin knows Ava is battling her own internal demons, and tries to help her when it looks like a losing battle.





	if i asked you to name all the things you love, how long would it take for you to name yourself

Odin always knew when Ava was falling back into a slump. He could see that look in her eye when she would exit her room once, maybe twice if she wasn’t too far gone, a day to eat. He’d lived with the redhead for over a year now. They hadn’t been romantically involved when he first started to see how her eyes would glaze over sometimes. He talked her through what he could. Sometimes she was upset over something in particular, like a paper at school. Sometimes she cried because she hadn’t done the dishes. Odin knew Ava was sick, but he also knew that she didn’t really want medical help. 

 

The first time Ava kissed him she’d just busted herself out of one of her spells. Odin hadn’t known why she was walking around the house like a ghost. But one day, without Odin even speaking to her, she kicked the door open with a bright smile on her face. She’d fixed whatever it was on her own. And there her stood, in the kitchen, sleepy-eyed and pajama clad, while Ava grinned at him from the door. He was just starting to return the sleepy grin to the shorter girl when she walked over in a few brisk strides, and pulled his face down to kiss her. 

 

Odin had been shocked, because it wasn’t a secret he had a thing for her. Every neighbor and friend knew about his crush. But Ava had always seemed oblivious. Everyone was always trying to get her to notice the boy. Had that been unnecessary? Had she seen him clearly the whole time?

 

Odin tried not to keep his lips too stiff when a million thoughts were running through his head. But his kissing was clumsy with shock. Ava didn’t seem to mind, but she ended the kiss quickly. “I like you too.” She whispered walking away.

 

Odin looked confused as she stepped into her room. Too? He knew he was obvious but he’d never confessed to her... Except...

 

Huddled up on night during a storm, watching Netflix on what little charge was left of Odin’s phone. The power was out and they used his data, but hearing her giggle at The Office was worth it. She was starting to nod off into his shoulder, and come the end of the episode she was dead asleep. Odin laid the two of them down on the couch, and he blushed at the intimacy of their cuddling. He didn’t want to wake her by moving her though... So, she laid huddled up on his chest as he stroked her hair lightly, like he’d been doing before she fell asleep. In the dark, he stared at the ceiling, wide awake. He wondered if she could hear his heart pounding the way he felt it. “I like you...” He whispered before closing his eyes to try and sleep. 

 

She’d been awake. She heard him... And she liked him too. 

 

After that they didn’t talk about their feelings for a long time after. They continued to skirt around both knowing the other knew. But then one day it all just broke away. Odin asked her flat out and she agreed formally. From then on they built a relationship, despite all advice about how bad it is to hook up with your roommate. 

 

It only takes three months, but he watches Ava start to slip away. Falling back into whatever funk it is that gets her down. The light leaves her eyes, and she talks to him less. She doesn’t kiss, or cuddle. She hides out. Half the time she’s crying, but he doesn’t know why. Then Odin realizes she isn’t showering. She’s not eating much either. But he knows if she eats too much she’ll be sick. It’s been a week, they both know she smells bad, but neither say anything. She avoids him more, cheeks burning hot. The person she loves is seeing the worst of her, and she’s disgusted with herself. Odin just wonders if she’s brushing her teeth. He cares about her too much to watch her kill her body. 

 

He taps on her door with his fingertips a few times as he listens to her try and sob quietly. 

“Ava...” He whispers. 

“Go away,” she chokes out her voice quivering. She’s trying to play strong. 

“Ava I’m worried about you.” Odin tries not to sound patronizing. 

“I don’t care.” He fails. 

“Ava, you’re sick. You aren’t eating. You aren’t showering. You aren’t brushing your teeth.” Ava’s face burns with shame. Of course she knows all that. Why does he have to point it out?

“I’m here to help you... So open the door, please. For me?” He almost wasn’t expecting the door to creak open. He quickly pushes his way in. 

“I know you’re tired, Ava...” He whispers hugging her. She limply returns the gesture as she stares at the ceiling. “You can sleep, but first I’m going to take care of you...” He knows she needs a shower first. Ava looks so lost in herself he worries she can’t even find the energy to stand in the shower let alone wash himself. She isn’t wearing much, underwear and a button down shirt. But she has been wearing it three days. Odin’s hands travel to the top button and he works his way down. Ava knows the gesture is not sexual, and she feels bile rising. Normal couples would be having sex by this point. But Ava was getting naked in front of him because she couldn’t force her body to care about bathing. She felt pathetic. 

 

The shirt slides off her shoulders easily, and is pooled around her feet. She stands in her underwear wanting to cry. Odin brushes a gathering tear away with his thumb as he cups her face. 

“I love you.” He whispered picking her up. He sounds choked up himself, and Ava feels sicker still. He sets her on the toilet seat and turns the shower on, trying to make the water hot enough. He knows Ava likes to shower incredibly hot. Almost skin burning. He wouldn’t give into her need to hurt herself that badly today, but he could make the water hot as he could stand. Nothing compared to her. 

 

Odin stripped himself down without a second thought about it. This wasn’t the time to be modest. This was the least sexual encounter he could think of. Ava has taken off the underwear herself and he gently sets her under the shower. She sighs under the welcome warmth and odin steps in after, sitting down directly behind her. 

 

He cradles her close for a few seconds, before he silently sets to work. He moves her head under the water and massages the shampoo in himself. He knows her hair is knotted, and they’ll need to brush it after the shower. It won’t be pleasant and he knows Ava is silently dreading it.  _ Baby steps. _ He tells himself as he puts in the conditioner. Ava seems to be relaxed by the gesture now as he masages her scalp. He knows she is likely to come to her senses when he finishes. 

 

After that he is pouring her shower gel onto a washcloth and intends to completely zone out as he washes Ava. If he doesn’t zone out he fears being unable to control himself. He is in love with Ava and it’d be a lie to say he hadn’t thought about this in a completely different context. But her health comes before his carnal desire to bite her neck. Despite the fact they’re sitting, Ava between his leg, dripping with water he knows this isn’t a sexual act. He feels like this is more intimate than even that. He let’s the washcloth fall onto the soap hold with a  _ slap  _ when he thinks he’s washed her adequately enough.

 

After that, they sit in silence until the water runs cold while Odin trails his fingers in lazy circles along her spine. She looks ready to fall asleep when he nudges her slightly to turn off the water. 

“Let’s get you to bed,” He whispers pulling himself up with the small bar that’s built into the shower. He only brought one towel out of habit, so he wraps it around Ava before her lifts her again. 

 

Usually Odin doesn’t go into Ava’s room without explicitly being called in, but he knows for a fact it’s a mess right now. The window is likely barred shut as tight as Ava could get it. He’d go in there and open things up later, but in the meantime her set her on his unmade bed. She looks at the wrinkled black sheets while Odin goes to get himself a second towel. 

“Do you want to wear my things?” He asked opening his closet to slip on a pair of underwear, leaving the towel in place until he was sure he was covered. Odin wasn’t sure why he felt the need to be modest now. Ava just grunts in a way that Odin takes to mean she agrees. He hands her a T-shirt and offers a pair of his boxers as well.

“I could go get some from your room if you want.” Odin offers. But Ava shakes her head, and lets the towel fall from where it’s draped around her shoulders. Odin looks away his face hot while she changes. He wishes he could find out exactly how to word that she’s the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen, but he knows now isn’t the time. 

 

With her legs crossed Ava sits in front of him while Odin towel dries her hair for her. 

“Odin...” Ava whisperes, catching his attention immediately. She hadn’t spoken to him since he dragged her out of bed. 

“Yeah?” His voice is low, but trying to remain casual. He doesn’t want to seem too eager to Ava, who might clam up any second. 

“Thank you.” Is all she says as Odin’s hands work under the towel to draw all the water from her red hair, though sometimes out of the shower it looks closer to brownish black. 

“You’re welcome.” He whispers finally, bending down to press a kiss into the crook of her neck. Ava tilts her head to nuzzle him, closing her eyes contently. 

“I love you too.” 

 

That night, Ava lays pressed up close as the small spoon, Odin holds her tight around her stomach and they breath in sync. Both of them think about how perfectly the other is made to fit them as they fall asleep. 

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for purely self indulgent purposes but I figured I'd post it anyone. Comment and Kudos please it really helps me out!! <3 follow me on shslnotsogrump.tumblr.com


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